what empty nest?

L-R: Betty, Carol, Dodie, Ann.

In the mid-70s, Dorothy and Ed were left in a mostly empty nest, except when one of their kids flew back for a short stay.
The same year Joan graduated from high school, 1974, Sally and her three kids moved back in after Sally left her first husband, Willard Carter. Things were crowded and hectic, to say the least. While Dodie loved the energy, the encampment was short term.
Joan, meanwhile, was off to art school in Oakland, Ca. Marilyn was working various outdoor jobs including Metroparks ranger and dump-truck driver. Ted was in the U.S. Army. Ed was still working for the U.S. Treasury.
Dorothy took those years pretty hard. She needed to be needed. She worked at Way Public Library and kept house while helping her offspring fledge.
But by the early 1980s, tension between Dodie and Ed finally led to divorce court. Dorothy moved to Dayton and rented an apartment in Oakwood, where Ed had grown up. (Ed, retired, put their house on the market and fulfilled his long-held dream to move to Florida. He bought a manufactured home in a senior development just west of Vero Beach, Fla.
Ted, mustered out of the military, joined Dodie in Dayton. She loved having her son close and also being able to get together with her sisters, Betty, Carol, and Ann, for gossip and jokes.
Dodie found a child care job that left her time to tend to hers and Ted's needs.
Life for her had become calmer, as the loss of tension from her marriage -- plus regular meds -- reduced flare-ups of her schizophrenia.
Ted needed lots of support adjusting to civilian life and Mom was there to provide it. Dorothy needed to be needed. She encouraged Ted to move into his own apartment, to build independence. Ted went to school and held a series of jobs.
By the late 1980s, however, economics and emotions led Dorothy and Ted to find a larger apartment they could share. The situation on Lawnview Court in Kettering, a suburb south of Dayton, seemed ideal for both.
"Blessed" with the Pickrel knees, Dorothy signed on replacement surgery early in the 1990s. Her sisters had lots of experiences to share and they fostered her decision to go for broke -- have both knees replaced at once. Her recovery was rapid and without incident. Sally, now an empty nester herself, was able to come down and take care of things for a few days until Dodie's mobility was restored.
With the exception of one mental health crisis due to inadequate doctoring, Dodie's life just seemed to get happier and happier.
Stay tuned . . .

bitz and pixels

Mom's hair slowly turned grey but her smile never dimmed as her family grew and each child became more well defined. With disputatious Sally off to college and then to Connecticut for a job, Marilyn, Joan, and Ted became a more closely knit group, although each had a strong and creative impact on the family as a whole.

Dorothy's illness progressed like a slow tide rising amidst the ongoing drama of the kids' adventures and Dad's disruptive drunken habits. The Gravetts' had such a bland, attractive home on a quintessential mid-American street -- but inside, what excitement, fear, laughter, good food, and progress roiled around at all times -- much like most American families.

"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way," wrote Leo Tolstoy in his classic novel, Anna Karenina.

And each Gravett had his or her own take on the family, depending on a host of variables. Somehow though, many, many endeavors -- school years, homework, meals, laundry, vacation trips, gardens, workshop projects, music lessons, and so much more -- were started and most often completed.

Family life moved itself along like a staggering juggernaut, driven by the irresistible spirit of Dodie.

Soon enough, Ted left for college. Then Marilyn,.

By then, Dodie had her first grandchildren -- Emily Maud, Sarah Sawyer, and Hannah Holly. They were in Connecticut, too far for a casual visit. But Dorothy made sure to keep in touch with them, directly and through Sally.

And then, by the early 70s, just in time for Joan's high school graduation, when it seemed the nest had emptied at last, there was a homecoming.

Stay tuned . . . .

xoxo

Joanie corex

I am, according to Marilyn my eagle-eyed editor sister, an "unreliable narrator." Sounds slamlike to me, but then Marilyn always was watching to see how soon I'd slip up. (And i rarely disappointed her.)
Funny thing, as a newspaper writer and editor for decades, I had a low error rate. But writing this Blog I've found my percentage of goofs his much higher.
of course, I'm not fact-checking the way i normally do.
Still, I did get Joanie's birthday off by an entire month!!
Sorry, Joanie.
I know you were born May 30, not June 30. And now, so do all seven readers of this blog.
So let the record stand corrected.
Mom has been sleeping a lot in the last 24 hours.
And Ted, our brother, has retired from his government job.
Congrats, Ted!!

xoxo
sally